Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
