i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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