I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
