I wannas sexs uuuuu
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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