Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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