I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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