you would pick up someone in the library
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
