just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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