i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
