I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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