Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
