He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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