12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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