Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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