Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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