why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
