We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
