you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
