is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
