Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
