and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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