Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
