For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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