That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
