You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
