even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
