Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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