i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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