I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
