i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
They took my balls.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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