i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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