we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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