I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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