just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
