That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
