I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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