My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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