1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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