and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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