Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
