my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
