come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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