I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
