Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
