Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
