just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
