I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
