C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
