Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
