I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
