i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
