Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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