i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
